Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

12,776

Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.

Recent Episodes
Episodes loading...
Recent Reviews
  • Texas Olivia Pope
    Sheron
    What an excellent session that offered a different way to view her father. Childhood trauma is so deep and it is amazing how it gets passed on. I love this podcast. The best therapy I have ever had.
  • Ohio Vick
    Reaction to 6/10/24 podcast
    This episode brought me to tears because I recognized my nurturing tendencies to others & holding back from asking others to nurture me. When I do experience nurturing from family, friends & strangers, I’m surprised & grateful. I need to say “thank you “ more than I do along with asking for nurturing. Thank you Esther!
  • Sascha4real
    Where should LGBTQ...begin??
    Why is every third or second guest gay? Is there an agenda of message going on here. Statistically we are only about 10% of the population. Seems forced
  • Loveufc13
    Appealing to a small percentage of the population
    I used to really love this show and now it seems to have constant same sex couples that don’t appeal at all to my situation. I wish Esther would take it into consideration that only a small percentage of the population identifies as gay. Why are most of her episodes I hear now mainly same sex. Very disappointing.
  • bdhdjn zcnvdom xu
    Brilliant
    This podcast has helped me tremendously on so many levels. It’s truly incredible.
  • kgrady57
    I think I married the wrong person
    No one is letting this man speak. Both Ester and the wife continue to interrupt him, despite him being scolded when he “responds too quickly.” Ester is inferring things about their relationship after just minutes of interacting with them, which seems to suit the wife’s narrative but clearly not the husband’s, but he never has a chance to clarify his narrative because they won’t let him speak. Arg. The woman screams in front of their child, which is unacceptable to the husband, and rightly so. The wife desperately needs to work through her trauma so she’s not so angry all the time. Ester telling the husband to just let her yell but to be kind to her while she’s yelling (because that will apparently break her pattern of yelling) is absurd. Maybe that can come in time but this woman needs more immediate help and skills in controlling her anger and should be told so. I find that Ester is totally enabling this women’s behavior, and that both Ester and the wife are ganging up on the husband without ever giving him a chance to finish a single sentence. It’s infuriating. I get that he’s an intellectualizer and needs to work on that, but feel bad for him.
  • AnnaB68
    I think I married the wrong person
    Oh boy, I hope he can take in what is being said. He sounds like he isn't getting it. She seems observant and intelligent. He wants to always be right. If it's a fact, it should be said, whether it hurts or not. Not a good skill for a relationship.
  • Wjc8501
    Not that useful or relatable
    I’ve listened to three non-special guest episodes and have to say a big red flag for me is when a host does more talking than listening. She is very quick to put words in her guests mouths and makes assumptions about why they feel or act a certain way. It could be that the sessions are edited down to only sound bytes that allow her to give her opinion, because it feels like they are missing a lot of context. It almost feels more exploitative that useful. If you prefer a more patient-guided conversation as well as helpful tips and advice that can be applied to listeners in various situations, not just the caller, I would highly recommend “Dear Therapists.”
  • Kady973
    Not a huge Fan of the new structure
    Use to love this podcast before it became apart of vox media. The new content strategies are not it.
  • Skittlesmuncher
    I’ve learned so much
    I have a long history of therapy and coaching, yet I always learn something from Esther. She has an uncanny ability to dive right into the heart of a person’s issues - to see it more clearly than they had been able to see it - and to reframe it and give nonjudgmental guidance.
  • thomasadrian
    Singular
    Esther Perel’s podcast is raw, intimate, and organically revealing to me. I take pleasure in how she listens to, reflects on, and works with her clients. She's incredibly perceptive and this podcast will give you something to relate to in your own relationships.
  • LittleYeti4789
    Truly so inspiring and beautiful
    This podcast ever softens my edges towards others and reminds me of humanity and the absolutely precious intricacies of the human story. Thank you for teaching us all through this format of storytelling and support!
  • *shineri*
    Favorite Podcast
    “Where Should We Begin” has become my favorite podcast since it was released, and I eagerly anticipate each new episode week after week. Esther Perel’s insight and intelligence shine through in evey session, and I’m captivated listening to her. Her ability to delve deep into the core of each issue and articulate complex concepts in a relatable manner is so fascinating to me. I learn something valuable from each episode, and feel I have grown mentally so much through her. Than you and keep doing what you’re doing!
  • djsolomon
    Worse than dr phil
    Very sad when patients are used like this.
  • JJ_Lemieux
    She became too popular
    For her own good
  • egizzi
    Lost its authenticity
    It used to be real. People who were relatable to an average person were the ones interviewed. Now it’s more about a product and branding. Lot’s of money to be made and Esther is taking full advantage of it. There are enough products in the world. The contradiction between something so very intimate as the original intent and what is being produced now creates a dissonance that makes me not listen anymore. So I stopped. I recommend you stop as well unless you want to pay for content or listen to fee things like famous or successful people talk about their lives. Part of what made the original show great was it was real people…
  • baby Therapist
    Ever insightful and compassionate
    Esther has been one of my personal thought leaders for years, these sessions have made me a better therapist, lover, daughter, coworker, and human. I also appreciate so much how Esther has listened to feedback from fans about recycled episodes, short episodes, and excessive commercials. I feel like the community’s concerns were heard and addressed.
  • lazylinguis
    A+
    Thank you for your work.
  • Lizonvvvv
    Amazing!
    It’s amazing how she gets to the bottom of the problems. Thank you for your insight, I have learnt so much about human conditions by just listening your show. Bless you Esther.
  • realitystrikesback
    Thank you for showing me how much I don’t know
    So often when the episode starts, I think I can’t even relate to these people, and they are so unwise… But when I continue to listen, I start to realize that everyone can relate, and we are all so unwise. Thank you!
  • ljutsum
    A life changing show
    Incredibly rich and deep and intelligent
  • Curlycharm
    Fantastic Show
    I love Ester’s show so much! It is my favorite podcast and I look forward to episodes being released. Her calming voice and demeanor, no matter the subject matter, is really soothing. I prefer this type of conversation to the sensationalist tone of some of the therapist on tv and online. Amazing show!
  • instanttaylor
    Always something relevant
    I love Esther’s show so much. No matter what the topic or description I find listening to how she talks to people amazing. I take something away from every episode from a new mental idea or just general calmness.
  • regret staying there
    AMAZING!!
    Esther is such a gifted, insightful, psychotherapist of human behavior and modern relationships. She’s a true visionary and most influential voice of our time . Love her podcast I learn more and more each episode. I definitely recommend!! Her accent is a plus as well 😬 oh and she’s hot
  • G13078
    I wish I lived near you
    The process of finding a good therapist is daunting. I’ve tried a few times. I wish I could go to you. I love your sound advice and listening to your insight to peoples struggles and why they struggle. Thank you for this podcast.
  • movie podcast lister
    She’s out, He’s in.
    This was awful. This woman is very selfish.
  • Ivyyyy109998
    Lessons for myself, family, and friends
    Thanks so much Esther. I’m approaching therapy with the lessons, knowledge and confidence you and your clients shared. I appreciate you all’s candidness
  • rosess2020
    With such a big platform
    As a student studying to be a clinical mental health therapist, I’m really surprised you’re not covering the immense trauma the world is collectively witnessing. Issues like collective grief and how witnessing a genocide in real time would be amazing to cover. I have watched Palestinian mothers mourn their dead babies and young children crying in agony next to their dead parents. It’s horrific and heartbreaking to say the least. 10,000 people in Gaza have been massacred by the Israeli military and you say nothing? Business as usual really? Given your history and background I’m really surprised and feel deceived by your work if when it matters you stay silent. Gabor Mate has spoken. Jews for Peace have showed us that they too demand a ceasefire. There is a growing solidarity amongst Jews and Muslims. The tyranny lies with Zionism. Please speak. For humanity. For mental wellbeing.
  • JayJay in LA
    All episodes relatable
    I love this podcast, Esther is amazing and gives advice that is relatable even when you initially think you have nothing in common with the people in the individual episodes.
  • 26auxh5S/
    Incredible!
    If you want to hear a genius at work, listen to this podcast. It is incredible how much she’s able to accomplish in 30-60 minutes. I wish my therapists were this good.
  • ninjamediness64
    New Episodes?
    I love this podcast, but each week is just repeat episodes or her other podcast. Disappointing.
  • willalanjr
    Therapy is great; Salesy tone is off putting
    I’m not one of the people who has purchased the subscription, and I don’t mind the premise of listening to a commercial, but I don’t know why I’m listening to Esther herself hocking products herself like a used car saleswoman. Am I really to believe that she has hand-selected babbel.com, MasterClass, Brookline sheets etc because they will further the mental health journey of the listeners? Its very jarring — just use regular advertisements or the voice of the announcer. Overall this highlights a turn toward the more commercial nature of this media venture.
  • Doodlegodmaster
    This podcast makes me cry at work
    And I feel like I get vicarious therapy
  • Obi-Wan T.
    Get the sub!
    These eps are always interesting and I learn something from all of them - but the Ira Glass and Neil Patrick Harris interviews alone are worth getting the additional subscription. Just one of the most insightful podcasts out there. Ira - PLEASE go back for Part 2!!
  • plasma1010
    Cheaters and the Disloyal
    No way, you cheat on your partner or leave them with a family to try another person, then your life isn’t so well and you want them back, and this podcast is trying to facilitate that ? There doesn’t seem to be anything to learn here about healthy, loyal relationships, they are talking about how cheaters, liars and the disloyal screwed up their lives and are begging for mercy, no thanks, move on and deal with your consequences, this podcast was recommended and I thought it was going to be about how healthy relationships work, and how to keep them healthy, not how to bring back liars and cheaters why would anyone trust that. There was a recent show about a guy who left his wife of 13 years, got engaged, left the other woman and wants his wife back why would anyone trust someone who just screwed over 2 women.
  • Marie Zambo
    How I wish I could pick up the phone and chat with Esther on the daily!!
    So thankful to have found this podcast
  • elle123456s
    unfortunate
    I’m a long time listener and fan, but it looks like the format of the podcast has been completely reworked without any communication the audience. A full hour couples therapy session used to be released weekly. Now we’re being asked to pay for what was previously free, without even releasing what most of us signed up for in the first place.
  • Julia Nepini
    Brilliant
    Esther is positively brilliant! Her contribution to the mental health field is greatly appreciated.
  • The Lizzy Bear
    She’s too arrogant
    As a PhD psychologist I find her rigid arrogance off-putting and prone to interpretation errors. Sometimes her criticisms (ie woman client needs to dye her hair and style it for her husband to love her) are actually quite shallow and a bit nasty. This is just another ego driven attempt for game, by a narcissistic psychologist. Narcissistic psychologists are very common, do t buy into everything!
  • Podcast aficionado 37
    Preachers wife
    I agree with the comments of the other reviewer and really thought Perel indulged the husband’s ego; ultimately it was all about him and he talked probably 80% of the time. I don’t like therapists who want to uphold such rigid heteronormative relationships. This left me with a yucky feeling and a lot less respect for Perel.
  • Greybird17
    Preacher’s Wife episode
    This husband and the church he serves both e seem to be self-righteous, tribal, paternalistic, and cruel — the kind of sect that gives religion a bad name and that humanity would be better off without. I don’t see how anyone could stay in a community like this, and I don’t see why any intelligent woman should be drafted to serve it. The first episode had me grinding my teeth and the follow-up was no better. The policy that caused the staff suicide seems to be based on a presumption of pedophilic behavior that reminds me of the prehistoric rules that would never allow a man and woman together without a chaperone because of course they would be up to no good. Ugh !! This kind of church upholds St Paul’s dictum that “the wife should be in subjection to her husband “ and tends to idolize their pastors instead of holding them to account as servants of their flock. It’s like an abusive system—you have to get out. You can’t change it and it can only damage you. To trade a rewarding career and a friendly church for an entitled angry man and an unpaid position in a dysfunctional place seems like a mind and soul destroying choice. I don’t want to hear any more from a staff that decides this a great episode. I like Esther’s couple sessions but there’s no way I’d pay to hear this stuff.
  • Mell.37
    No representation of traditional households
    Every couple featured is LGBQT and not relatable for the majority of the human population. Previous seasons were focused more on featuring informative, relatable, valuable therapy sessions and now it seems like the only concern is featuring minority/LGBQT couples.
  • cruiseandresort
    Worth .80 cents a week? OMG yes!
    Over the years Esther has given us so much - at no charge. She’s taught us how to be better in our relationships, to be better people, and she has done so not from a pedestal or ivory tower, but as one of us, just as imperfect as we are. What she gives is worth much more than $42 a year. If I were to see a therapist for the things that she’s taught me/us, I’d probably have to add two zeros to that number. She’s a generous soul, and she has earned my respect, my gratitude, and my $.80 a week. Thank you for sharing all that you do Esther.
  • KM Santos 29
    Great but…
    Excellent podcast. Sad 90% is now only if you subscribe and pay. Considering there is a lot of opportunities for people to learn and grow, it’s been quickly monetized.
  • Zizzabet
    7/23 episode
    Esther is clever, so good at picking up on small clues that may actually be significant and weaves them into whole picture so effectively. She missed a major on July 23 episode: The guy was quite clear that he wasn’t on with only being told what gf needed and exactly how he should respond to her needs. He very clearly said he would also like his needs to be addressed. Esther told him to communicate this to gf, which he did. He has difficulty with saying what he is thinking, his feelings, his responses - but this request was clear. Then straight away, gf went back into her needs and feelings, not once acknowledging his request to be asked what gf could do to make him more comfortable in the arena of difficulties being discussed. Big miss on that. He did not like being told how to do or how to respond. Paying attention to this could have opened up a lot for the needs of both partners. I ended feeling like what he didn’t get from gf was reinforced by what he didn’t get from Esther. And it was there point blank.
  • Kiw3
    Buyer Beware / Content Lacking
    While I tried the podcast as a trial, I thought I had one day left but noooo….so it charged the $42 a year (WHOLY MOLY that’s a LOT for a podcast anyways). I tried to request a refund but they wouldn’t so BUYER BEWARE if you’re going to try the podcast membership. It certainly didn’t deliver the content I was hoping to hear and learn from.
  • K8 Nack
    Edge of my seat
    Where is episode two?! Please post it
  • Mandy_Pots
    Something is wrong on the editing at the end of most recent episode
    There is talk about the bottom dropping out and then the episode just ends. What happened?
  • RHQ22
    Preacher,s wife episode
    So good to listen to but i literally can not wait for part two!!!!! Please post asap!!! ❤️
  • HPMJ00
    Please remove old content from subscriptions
    Another loyal fan disappointed by the subscription model. Please remove the old episodes. If I wanted to listen to them again, I would go back to them myself. It’s just a nuisance not being able to see what’s new and what’s not. And especially difficult when driving because they auto-play in order and I don’t want to hear the episodes I’ve already listened to, but can’t navigate through for safety reasons.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork on this page are property of the podcast owner, and not endorsed by UP.audio.